Long time, no blog

If anyone is still out there, I'm sorry for the long dry spell. The summer was virtually nonexistent for me. Between the Writing Workshop, which was awesome (more on that later...I hope), and new teacher seminars, which were not remotely awesome in any way, shape, or form, I had about a week to myself, which I spent going to the movies with Monkey and trying to read a book or two that had no nutritional value whatsoever, and that certainly had nothing to do with teaching strategies. (How do you like that run-on sentence? And I teach writing.)

Teaching strategies. Hmmm. I'm sure those would be valuable if I ever got to teach. What I have learned in my two months of gainful employment is that teachers don't ever get to actually teach anything. I spend the entire day trying to get a pack of unruly, attention-starved, think-they're-all-that, headaches-waiting-to-happen to sit down, close their mouths, and do some work. Which is another reason I haven't written here lately. I have no energy at all by the end of the day. I feel like I am absolutely the worst teacher these kids could have. I can't believe they gave me a diploma and said I was ready to do this. I wasn't ready by a long shot.

Not only was I not prepared for the attitude these kids have, I wasn't prepared for all the meetings teachers have to go to, the impossible things we are expected to do in addition to teaching, the feeling that the administration is out to get you instead of support you. I'm teaching 8th grade, and I knew teenagers had attitudes. But the 7th graders and 10th graders I had during my field experiences were nothing like this. Most of those kids didn't care about doing the work, but they weren't blatantly disrespectful like my kids now are. Okay, there were a couple of times one of them would require a hallway chat or a detention. But it was never anything that I felt I couldn't handle. This...this I can't handle.

8th graders are completely self-absorbed. They clearly think that you are talking to everyone else except them when you say, "No talking." They truly don't fathom the fact that they will not be promoted to the 9th grade if they don't pass this big standardized test they'll take in the spring.

Breaking news: I have to stop bitching for a minute - Mike Meyers is making a cameo on SNL with Kanye West, spoofing on the oh so awkward moments from the hurricane telethon last month. That's the first time I've laughed out loud at a TV show in ages. Excellent! Truly excellent!

Back to the nightmare that is my career. I don't mean to make it sound like all the kids are holy terrors. In reality, it's only a handful that I dread seeing. Many of them are very sweet, respectful, bright, and quite talented. I wish that I had more time getting to really teach these kids. And less time going to meetings, learning about all the crap we're expected to do in order to prove that we're Not Leaving any Children Behind. There are all these tests that 8th graders here have to take. That takes at least three weeks out of the year. One test has to be done on the computer. Since the school is plagued with technical problems (server crashes, laptop battery failures, internet outages) on a daily basis, that should be loads of fun. Plus, I found out Friday that I get to keep track of how much all the kids are reading by checking reading logs for over a hundred kids who whine to me every day about how much they hate to read and write.

I also have to keep notebooks filled with evidence of what I'm doing to work collaboratively with the other teachers, what I'm doing to meet the needs of each and every student, what I'm doing to include technology in my curriculum (in a school that basically has no technology), and what I'm doing to teach these students how to write (even though some of them can barely read, and only about five of them like to write and those five are the only ones that ever come to class with paper, pens, and books). Nevermind that I don't get to plan lessons in which I achieve all these ideals because my planning periods are filled with meetings that are apparently for the sole purpose of driving me crazy and reminding me that I have to meet these goals or I can say goodbye to my career.

So on top of the stress of rude, insolent kids I'm not allowed to beat, maim, or harm in any physical way, I struggle every day trying to keep up with all the administrative bullshit I have to take care of. Then I come home to a house I'm too tired to clean, a son I'm too drained to play with or read to, and a husband I'm too exhausted to reconnect with. Next summer can't get here fast enough.